I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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