Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
