wanna go halves on a baby?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
