Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
