Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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