carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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