You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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