dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
