I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
