I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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