whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
