You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
tell me about the fingering
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
