Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Boobs are out for the taking
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
