We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
