i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
