It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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