did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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