He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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