just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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