dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
