You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
