Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
