I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
