I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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