what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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