Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
