Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have aggressive nipples.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
