He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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