just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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