My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
