we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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