just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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