He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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