There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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