That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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