Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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