we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
