i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
