yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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