i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
