Porn is love you can see.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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