how do flat chested girls get laid?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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