I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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