the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am one with the molecules
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
