Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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