I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
