Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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