There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize