He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Vodka?
Forever.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
