We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
