that's an acceptable place to lick
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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