Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
