so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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