I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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