Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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