Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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