My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
