I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
