She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
