I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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