Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
