Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
