found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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