Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
either way he was missing a nipple.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My liver just had a heart attack.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
